Thursday, May 21, 2015

Heart Scars: Healing Your Hurts

I woke up today with a sore heart - kind of like scar tissue. Dreams of the past and gentle explorations of relationships in that waking subconscious space lead me to explore these tender spots.

The wounds have healed. 
There were times I truly never thought they would. 

For so long, I wasn't strong enough to go there to look at the hurt without blaming or wanting to cover the pain with outside comforts, to avoid those feels. Or I would GO THERE too much and keep feeding an unhealthy, no-longer physically manifest relationship.

It's good to look back-- just don't stare.

I also have physical scar tissue on my leg from an accident falling off a stage during a Drawing critique. There's was a lot of shame in that moment that collected in the space that was created by that sudden physical jolt. I was literally limping for a couple weeks after that.

These sore spots in my heart and this dent in my leg - they are part of my life story. We all have that. Deep chasms of wounds, broken bones, broken hearts, mental issues, some things we even came in this world with and felt we started at a deficit.

Try to live broken Open, not broken Closed.

I was given what I was given and I have learned not to be a Victim of Circumstance. I have free will, choices, and over time I have had to learn how to navigate this world; physically, emotionally, energetically, mentally, work-world, friend-world, relationship-land.

They all leave their marks, if you're daring enough to continue.

And I encourage you if you can -- sometimes we need that time to shield, cover and protect -- to be with your sore spots, to really embrace them. To let them be exactly what they are not wish them away or want to be further along with them, we are in process, always. As you practice this acceptance, your compassion for others' process will grow naturally. Not out of pity, but true empathy.

Your wounds are your Gifts.

I have plenty more scars and bumps I could tell you about, and maybe one day I will, but for now, I will use my own experience to share with you and hope that you find some acceptance for your own situation. Maybe you don't make any big decisions today other than looking inward, which is, in fact, a hugely courageous act.

My greatest desire for you is, in time, to learn how to love those places. Accept them. Love them. And keep living.. knowing there will be more. We will accumulate more scars in this lifetime, but suffering is optional.

Learn more about Grief: 

I recommend this video by my friend Cole Imperi - Lifted by Little Deaths 

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